Ep.9/ Finding Joy
As we get older, we can so easily get caught up in the routine of daily life that we forget to seek joy in everyday moments.
We can also be so focused on future aspirations that we miss the happiness and joy in the here and now. We become so focused on the end destination we forget to enjoy the journey. In living in this way we also become blind to the fact that by the time we reach that end destination, we will see a new destination on the horizon and end up living life through this narrow lens; constantly striving for unattainable happiness.
So, what can we do? How do we break this cycle?
📍 Be present when in the company of family and friends! When you are in enjoyable social settings be fully present. Notice when your mind is pulling you off into thoughts about work, bills, and life outside of that moment. The most important tip—put your phone down. Be present and be grateful for these moments of connection.
💛 Kindness! Studies have shown that people who practice pro-social behaviours (random acts of kindness) show increased levels of happiness and joy!! It costs nothing to be kind. You can even be kind in moments where you have little time. It can be a smile, holding the door open for someone, saying hello, complimenting others, or celebrating their success/happiness/accomplishments regardless of how things are in your life (no comparisons just sharing their joy).
✋🏻 Stop comparing yourself to others! We will always be lacking in some way when we compare ourselves with other people. This can lead to feelings of resentment, sadness, shame, low mood, frustration and anger. Everyone is on their own journey and what you know of another person is only a fraction of the picture and a tiny part of the path they have trodden. Remind yourself there is not a limited amount of happiness and joy to go around. In being happy and joyful for other people you get to share their happiness too!
💍 Joy and Happiness are not found in external things!! The hedonic happiness materialism brings is fleeting and unsustainable. It also places your happiness and joy outside of you.
🙏🏻 Give back! Find a cause that means something to you and volunteer some time. Whether that is an hour a week or an hour a month. Building connections and giving back in ways that align with our values brings us joy.
☀️ Even on difficult days find something to be grateful for! This does not need to be a big thing—that first cup of tea or coffee, being able to hear the birds chirping outside, being able to see the blue sky or feeling the warm sun on your skin.
🤪 Be silly! As we get older we can lose our ability to let go, laugh and be a little silly. Bringing humour into our daily lives boosts mood and improves connections. It also allows others to relax and find their joy.
📷 Broaden your lens!! When we elicit a positive emotion (such as gratitude/happiness/joy) it actually widens the lens we view the world through. Meaning you become aware more of the things around you that bring you happiness and joy. This causes a continual upward spiral of these positive emotions. You literally grow your own joy!!
Joy and happiness are contagious!! You can be the one to ignite others' happiness or you can let others spark the joy in you!!
My parting thought—‘Let yourself be present in the here and now, let yourself find the joy and happiness in the smallest things around you!! Joy is a state of being you get to cultivate and remember it is an inside job.’
